A NARRATIVE ESSAY
Not a lot I remembered that exhilarating experience: Two years ago, me and a group of friends and I decided to make take a trip over a weekend. Montseny was fascinating.
We started the trip in the morning because it was is a gigantic mountain and very difficult to climb,. The landscape was breathtaking and all of us were fascinated.
We began to climb those hard rocks, so for a long time, when we reached the top we were starving and exhausted but we decided to follow the path until the sky turned pitch black.
It was freezing but luckily I found a huge cave that was filthy, nevertheless I started to hear some terrifying shouts.I don't see the connection between the sentence and the connector "nevertheless"
I was frightened, so I sat in a corner in the darkness wide awake and wropped did you mean "wrapped"?with my brand new raincoat.
However, the sun returned to shine and I left the cave,. After going down alone, I joined in with my friends who were utterly worried. Remember: utterly is used with EXTREME ADJECTIVES. Here it's better to use "very", "extremely",...
Despite this experience, it taught me a lot. It had been a survival weekend
To sum up, I would repeat it again though previously I should advance remember back the experience.I don't understand this.
1 comentarios:
I understand that you had problems with the paragraphs so you have marked them with different colours, haven't you?
You have used plenty of adj. and expressions from the unit, but you seem a little bit obsessed with that (utterly, dripping wet, pitch black, wide awake, scared to death, starving,...)
It's not that necessary. On the other hand, be careful with connectors (However ALWAYS has a comma) and cohesion.
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